There was a Wired News article today about drivers who want to reprogram their cars that reminded me of my friend Paul’s Prius.
Cars are still a novelty to me, and cars with 9’’ LCDs in them are still more novel (noveller?). But Paul has gotten over the shock of the new, and pointed out all sorts of features in the music interface that’d he be happy to add for himself...if there were some sort of accessible API. Which begs the question, “Well, why not?” Obviously, we might not want Paul reprogramming his brakes on the go. But it’s perfectly reasonable to build in some tools for customizing and extending one’s in-car media player. This is probably illegal, but let’s just entertain the idea for a moment.
“Car chippers” (modern day hotrodders) are hacking their Volkswagens and Corvettes for better performance. But since at this point Americans live in their cars, it seems like a short step towards also tinkering with the entertainment system to get more information about your CDs, to prompt you when your favorite dj is on, etc. This could be a terrible idea - do we really need more people futzing around with their radios at 65mph? But it’s not like the existing Prius screen design and functionality isn’t dangerously futzy already. “Why is there no pause button?” asked Paul. “Why is the volume control on the screen and the track forward-backward buttons on the dashboard?” I couldn’t really give him a good answer.
As the Wired article points out, there’s more at stake than just Paul’s CD collection. Cars are increasingly equipped with the processing power of PCs — but not the debugging capabilities. Instead, car manufacturers are designing cars that can only be troubleshot with the help of expensive scanners — which usually only car dealerships own. So they both take a bite out of the profits of independent mechanics, and force drivers to pay to get enigmatic warning lights diagnosed and turned off. It seems a little counterproductive. Why alienate your two most enthusiastic user populations (mechanics and car chippers) as well as a substantial population of less committed drivers who don’t want to pay $120 to get a minor fix every month or so?
The blurring of boundaries between automobile and PC brings new and troubling significance to the phrase “fatal error.” I’m on the point of buying a car, and anything that ratchets up my bill or my anxiety levels is a deal-breaker. I mean, if you were forced to spend $120 bimonthly to have an official Microsoft or Apple tech fix your computer, wouldn’t you consider that a major, major software problem? And if your computer didn’t tell you what the problem actually was but instead just flashed its LEDs enigmatically, wouldn’t that also be a major, major problem? So why is this somehow okay in a KIA?
Which leads me, inevitably, to the incipient dyspepsia that is the by-women, for-women Volvo concept car (hereafter ironically referred to as “FWBW”) Unlike cars with unhelpful and expensive warning lights, FWBW was apparently designed to completely frustrate any action the driver might take to maintain the car herself.