Notwithstanding the widespread belief that computer-mediated social interaction is all about finding more people to date, there seems to be a lot of talk recently about playing well with strangers.
... what social conventions will we build around this? What mechanisms will we use to advertise the fact that we are interested in playing games with (or sharing media with, or learning more about) people around us who we don't know? And how will we politely request these contatcs?
from Tom Hume: Bluejacking as a learning opportunity, via blackbeltjones
When I had just moved from New York to Berkeley, I could barely walk down the street without feeling vaguely threatened by all the people who were, you know, staring at me... Since New York social norms forbidding staring and eye contact just don't apply on the West Coast, I often felt like I was about to be mugged. Usually, the would-be mugged was just some guy checking me out. (Aside: there's got to be a good word for the epistemological state of being-about-to-be-mugged.) In one particularly paranoid moment, I nearly slugged a homeless guy who was just trying to be helpful.
The closer a virtual identity -- ie, your device's bluetooth name -- to the physical body, the more deservedly paranoid people tend to be. Part of the appeal of cities, big cities especially, is the sensation of being invisible and unnoticed in the midst of crowds. That's why bluejacking is such a fun prank. It violates all these social commandments ("thou shalt not approach strangers"..."thou shalt not make comments about other people's appearance where they could overhear you," etc.) But pranks exist to violate social norms, whereas games and more polite interactions need to exist within them.
The useful mechanisms we've developed to help us play online with strangers, especially in MMPOGs, don't translate so well when our real-life bodies and legal identities are on the line. I wish I knew how to politely request gameplay without freaking someone out, or accept such a request without feeling a little creeped out myself. The problem is not, as Matt Jones suggests, just a question of manners -- although an etiquette of public computer-mediated contact with strangers is a good start. It's a question of physical vulnerability, and how close we will allow virtual strangers to get before we start slugging.
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